Insiders Adoption Journal

Seven of my eleven children came to me as teens or tweens. They experienced more of their childhood years WITHOUT their father and I than they did WITH US. Overcoming the history for children adopted in their teen years is VERY difficult for any adoptive parents. 

Our kids didn't choose to fear rejection, their pasts pre-set this. Our kids didn't choose to not trust, the misplaced trust in their pasts pre-set this. Our kids didn't choose to question our motives, and yet here they were, questioning whether our motives were love or control. Our children didn't want to feel unsafe in our home, but no place had ever proven to be safe emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Our children didn't choose their past and this means they didn't choose us as their present or future. EVERYTHING in these kids' lives was done to them or decided for them. Simply put, Jason and I were their best option between homelessness, continued abuse, or being lost in a system. 

I remember a young...

It always looks so perfect, doesn't it? My troop of kids with us on our vacations, in our little ranch home with our goats, or eating ice cream at the parlor. We are smiling, or the kids are acting coy... our different skin tones, our random ages and genders. It is all so unexpected and yet awesome to see. And I have to admit, I look at those same photos with the same awe and with an immense amount of love. Yet, there is so much more than the photos reveal. 

After a struggle with infertility early on in our 21 year long marriage, we determined that adoption was not only what we were supposed to be doing but that we were willing to open our minds to the possibility of FOUR kids! Yup, brave us... willing to take in four kids over a course of 5 or 6 years we had figured! So funny to look back now that we have 11 kids of our own and dozens more that we love like our own in ministry. 

Yup, that was the plan! Get licensed and adopt a baby. And just as planned, we did exactly...